Most couples will attest to how great they feel about the relationship when it is going well.  Usually partners have times that are full of joy, rely on each other for support in life, and have many places with each other that fill them up with good feelings.

Whether couples have an abundance of good stuff, or not, the key to a successful relationship is having tools to work through the tough stuff.  Let’s face it, the tough stuff in life has a longer half-life then the good stuff.  Many couples attest to the experiences that a great two weeks together can be all but wiped out by one tough disagreement, or argument.

Disagreements big or small require a couple to know how to engage themselves and each other so no matter what decisions are being made, the relationship is prioritized.  Like most things in life, this is much easier said than done.  This is where a quality therapeutic relationship can be so valuable.

Much of the therapeutic process becomes about helping a couple learn how to be in most any disagreement and still find a way to get closer.  This process takes some time because, first we must figure out what is bound up in the destructive tendencies each might bring to disagreements.  Then we must learn new ways to be in the intensities so we can have more in life.